#which is an extremely obvious thing to point out but i DO think framing some of these deaths like that could be interesting!

[yinyuedijun]

end notes for zero-sum game (tw: slavery, sexual abuse)

hi if you're here it means you read my deranged aventurine smut. thank you for reading that abomination lmao I hope you enjoyed it 😭 once again I've touched on really sensitive topics and don't want to be misread so I'm writing some disclaimers/explanations below:

In the act of gambling with human stakes, as well as doing business with human traffickers, Aventurine is essentially himself engaging in human trafficking. This is not something he particularly enjoys doing or wishes to exploit (which I did try to indicate in the narrative); he only does this for his role with the IPC. 

The reason I made this a narrative about human trafficking is not because I wish to glamorize this crime. I framed the narrative this way because I wanted to point out how Aventurine actively perpetuates the kind of capitalistic violence that ruined his life by being a Stoneheart. This is something that is implicit in the game but not openly explored, hence I expanded on it here.

Somewhat thematically related: the reader actively engages in self-objectification—using it neutrally as a tool for their espionage work at times, but also positively in order to eroticize their one-sided and exploitative relationship with Aventurine. This was not intended to condone the objectification of human beings; rather, I wanted to show how a lifetime of sexual objectification and extreme dehumanization as a slave has led them to objectify and dehumanize themselves, sometimes even in the capacity of enjoying it. 

Aventurine in canon similarly engages in self-objectification and dehumanization as a trauma response  (i.e. he refers to himself as a chip in a positive manner, clearly as a reaction to how his owner referred to him callously as a chip when he was a slave), though in my opinion he's not really implied to derive any real joy from the idea.

Related to the point of objectification: Aventurine and the reader clearly do not engage in particularly safe, sane or consensual sexual dynamics (specifically referring to how he started undressing them before they fully consented to public sex and just kind of decided what to do with them without prior discussion). This is not because I think this is acceptable behaviour; it is a reflection of their unequal power dynamic that the reader actively encourages and Aventurine is fine with perpetuating. It is also implied to be the result of his own distorted relationship with sex—he has literally been coerced into doing exactly the same thing in the very same establishment, and assumed that the reader would be fine with doing it too because they generally enjoy it when he exercises "ownership" over them, which they both associate with sexual control for traumatic reasons.

I've seen discourse around the fandom where people interpret the act of kissing Aventurine’s commodity code as a purely sexual or fetishizing action. I thus feel compelled to explain that the act of Aventurine and reader kissing each other’s codes in this story served a specific purpose within the wider narrative about dehumanization. I wrote a lot of things in this fic purely because I was ungodly levels of horny for Aventurine (lol), but those particular actions actually had narrative weight lol 

With all this being said, I hope it is clear that the reason I chose to focus on themes of slavery and dehumanization is not because I intend to promote or glamorize them, but because I wanted to explore specific points of Aventurine’s characterization that exist in canon. The theme of sexual abuse (and its psychological fallout) is also something that is a natural extension of his story arc in canon. I have no wish to perpetuate any of these things, and I have faith that my audience can distinguish fiction from reality and thus will not have their perspectives on real life issues be seriously influenced by my dumb horny fic on tumblr dot com. 

Also I should hope this is obvious but do not use your regular everyday gloves to finger someone! I like to imagine that Aventurine’s expensive science fiction gloves has the incredible ability to remain sterile in everyday circumstances 👍

[nemastraea]

Doormat extraordinaire: Andrew Graves is down horrendous for his own sister | Part 1

Or as I like to call it, actual literal word vomit attempting a proper character analysis!

Here's a link to the AO3 version for archive purposes: The doormat extraordinaire has a bit of a romantic streak,

Content warning: This will heavily feature spoilers from Episodes 1 & 2 of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. Trigger warning: Abuse, cannibalism, child neglect, codependency, harassment, incest, murder, self-harm, and suicide. Disclaimer: I will occasionally reference an extremely normal essay from Sufficient Velocity commenter Leyleyfication (here). It would be a lot easier to read this essay first as Leyleyfication does a pretty good job establishing the following: - Ashley is dependent on Andrew to assure and validate her of her own insecurities, and - The game heavily implies that Andrew wants to fuck his own sister.

Anyway: The Coffin of Andy and Leyley! A game in early access where a pair of siblings are stuck through a seemingly never-ending quarantine together, desperate not to starve to death. When their cultist neighbor dies in a ritual gone wrong, they rationally resort to cannibalism. Fun!

I am definitely going to assume that you read Leyleyfication's extremely normal essay (I am on my knees, begging you to read that). Which is why this essay immediately starts with, "yeah, Andrew definitely wants to fuck his sister" as its baseline.

What I will be adding to that funny little cauldron of fucked up sibling dynamics in a horror visual novel are the following: Andrew's fixation and sexual attraction manifests as his desire to control, dominate, and possess Ashley. And it is framed as a fatalist attraction and the totality of his existence (for worse or even worse).

Because of Tumblr's limit for 30 images per post, though, I'm going to have to split this extremely normal and reasonably lengthy essay into... multiple posts! Yeah! I have no idea how long this will fucking go!

So first things first: how can we tell that Andrew is even attracted to Ashley in the first place?

Nemlei (Devlog 05). Note the hickeys above and below Ashley's choker and her left inner thigh, and Andrew's left hand creeping into her right thigh.

As Leyleyfication points out, the game primes us to believe that Andrew is a pushover and Ashley is his abuser. This occurs in the Steam page as it explicitly says Ashley is "in fact, very bad" and Andrew is a "doormat extraordinaire." Moreover, it's very easy to tell that Ashley is, on some degree, obsessed with Andrew:

She's happy to hear that Julia broke up with Andrew over the phone;

She repeatedly accuses him of finding the Lady from Room 302 attractive and he 'tried anything with her;' and

Her flashback to wanting to punish her friend Nina ("the Bitch in the Box") for crushing on Andrew.

Episode 1, dream and memory. Leyley previously said that Nina should know better than to 'steal from another woman,' referring to herself. The implication that Andy is hers is toyed with after this moment, when she says she'd put Andy back in the box.

The game does prime us to think that Ashley is Andrew's abuser. It also suggests that Ashley projects an unrequited and incestuous love onto Andrew. Before we consider Episode 2's narrative, Episode 1 gives the initial impression that if Andrew comes to reciprocate her feelings, it's more of a reaction and subsuming to her will. That it may not be something he wants for himself and independent of Ashley's manipulation.

But again, I do believe Andrew wants to fuck Ashley. And always has been. He just frequently vacillate between 'subtle' and 'really fucking obvious' tells that completely take advantage of the game's third person limited POV.

Keep in mind that both Andrew and Ashley are extremely unreliable narrators. We aren't going to get information they personally do not care about and that is on top of our own choices as the player.

(A digressive example: you will not learn that the founder and CEO of Toxisoda's company was a former surgeon unless you interact with the television in Andrew's Episode 2 dream and memory of their blood oath. Otherwise, it neatly ties into the surgeon that Mrs. Graves conveniently says she was directed to regarding the siblings' quarantine in the main story.)

When it's really fucking obvious

When you play as Andrew in Episode 2, his post-dinner argument with Ashley carefully frames them both. They are cramped in the foreground and Andrew's left arm is conveniently blocked by Ashley and the kitchen knife, as seen here.

Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, you can interact with Mrs. Graves for her to pointedly comment on the siblings being inseparable.

At this point in the game, their physical closeness is something we're used to by now. After all, we've already seen Ashley on his lap at least twice; Andrew slept in her bed in Episode 1; and Ashley confirmed they've shared the same motel bed multiple times in the one-week interim between Episodes 1 & 2.

But the game abruptly shifts to Mrs. Graves' POV when she enters the scene and not only do we see the two as physically close, but we notice a few more details.

Episode 2, common route. The first picture transitions from Andrew's POV to Mrs. Graves as it introduces us to her entering the scene.

The contrast of how spacious the kitchen is from Mrs. Graves' POV to Andrew's cramped POV is obvious. More importantly, Andrew's fingers loop through Ashley's belt loops when the two are huddled together. When Mrs. Graves clears her throat, the two don't really separate.

Ashley pivots on her left foot so that her body is turned to their mother, not Andrew, but she doesn't step away from him. Andrew, meanwhile, recoils from Ashley and withdraws his hand. But he isn't turning his body to face their mother like Ashley does here. His attention, at least in this moment, is still towards Ashley (and, yanno, the sink).

Episode 2, common route. Two things to consider in the second picture: Andrew hides Ashley's bite mark on his cheek with his left sleeve and he conveniently moves the pillow from behind him to his front.

The 'tell' isn't so much as the two are unusually physically close. Again, we're used to that by now. But it's how the two siblings react whenever Mrs. Graves comes into the picture. Ashley doesn't really give a fuck about whether or not people assume the worst of her or even her intentions regarding Andrew. To Ashley, their proximity is normal and anyone who sees that as a problem is not worth an explanation or reason.

But Andrew is at least subconsciously aware it's 'not normal.' As far as these moments are concerned, Andrew instinctively tries to do damage control by either putting space between them or keeping his hands occupied so they aren't visibly touching Ashley. Still, he either does not mind or actively appreciates his physical closeness with Ashley.

When it's really fucking obvious (but only in hindsight)

In Episode 1, Ashley passes out after trying to clean up after the apartment. Regardless of her passing out in the living room, the bathroom, or their parents' room, she will wake up on the couch with her head pillowed by Andrew's lap.

Episode 1, Ashley's POV. Andrew's hands often hover over Ashley's head, but more than that—

I personally didn't notice this until I replayed Episode 1, when I basically have the hindsight of Andrew's fixation with hair. But yes, his fingers idly twirl through the ends of Ashley's hair as they watch TV. It's implied that Andrew can and will do this when Ashley pillows his lap, awake or asleep. He does not recoil from it when Ashley does wake up and later on, in Episode 2, even continues to brush it from her face.

Episode 2, common route. Ashley fell asleep at the passenger seat, so Andrew had to have transferred her to the back seat to pillow her head again. Though, technically, she's more cramped at the back seat than if he'd just reclined the passenger seat.

So far, we've seen that Andrew has a natural tendency to not only be physically close to Ashley, but to hover over her personal space and be in constant and direct contact with her. Whether it's by having her head on his lap, twirling her hair through his fingers, or even constantly grabbing her by the head in various states of comfort, playfulness, or outright threat (but let's put a pin on that for now).

The weight behind this candid contact shifts when Episode 2 draws a pretty explicit parallel between Julia and Ashley. Assuming that you interacted with Julia's landline and heard Ashley's voicemails, you know (and Andrew knows) that Ashley draws that connection herself:

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't? You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that. He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything. I am the secrets you'll never hear. When he lies in bed at night, and when he needs someone to hold on to... It's not you he seeks out. It is me.

Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and vision implies that Andrew's heard these voicemails before.

That connection extends to the hair contact as well, as Andrew goes in to hug Julia, cards his hand through her hair and requests she tie her hair up.

Episode 2, common route. Andrew's dream and memory of Julia when they're older. From the use of Andrew's present-age portrait, suggests is closer to the timeline of the game's events than his and Ashley's memories as Andy and Leyley.

From this moment, we can have one of two assumptions: either Andrew wants Julia's (black) hair put up like Ashley's, or Ashley caught onto Andrew's hair kink and puts her hair up to imitate it.

Regardless, we infer the following:

Andrew teases affection through touching and even pulling on one's hair.

His fixation on ponytails and pulling on them does not exclude his own sister. It still stands and without reservation, perhaps more explicitly since he can do it so candidly, as we saw before.

The last of that Julia-Ashley parallel is self-contained within Episode 2. But only if you end up in the Burial route regardless of Ashley's platonic or incestuous vision.

Episode 2, common route (first picture) and Burial route (second picture). It's worth pointing out that Andrew is actually disinterested and moody during his conversation with Julia, and only perks up when he mentions Ashley or feigns care for Julia (since he extends his care of Ashley to her as well).

The game ends up drawing parallels on how Andrew treats Ashley, for better or for worse, with his ex (which is definitely worse, poor Julia). In doing so, the game blurs the lines between romantic affection for Julia and 'platonic and familial' affection for Ashley.

Y'all, this isn't even getting into how Andrew respectfully gives his parents space and only crowds them when he threatens them with his cleaver. In his mind, Ashley and Julia are in that same space of physical and romantic displays of affection; something he reserves only for them (only without reservation for Ashley) that does not extend to anyone else. His ex-girlfriend, and his sister. Shit's wild.

When it's obvious BUT it's violent!

That isn't to say that his hair fixation (hair kink?) is completely innocuous, though, as it rears its ugly head (pun unintended) in Decay. Which is what that previous pin was for! Yay!

You end up in the Decay route if Ashley doesn't trust Andrew with keeping an eye on their parents. Here, Ashley sleeps on their parents' bed by herself and has an alarming vision: an unknown party chases after her through the in-between and when they catch up to her, it's Andrew. Ashley has nowhere to run and Andrew eventually grabs her and threatens to kill her.

Whether or not Ashley can defend herself depends on Andrew expending all of her gun's ammo when he deals with the hitman, or not. But that outcome divergence will matter much, much later (so that's another pin for us to come back to).

The sequence of events actually mirrors the way the siblings ambush the Lady from Room 302 back in Episode 1. There, Andrew closes in on her and grabs the Lady by her wrist and uses his front to pin and restrain her. With his cleaver to her throat, the Lady is completely at his mercy.

Episode 1 & 2, common route (first picture) and Decay route (second, third, and fourth pictures). Note that Andrew restrains the Lady from Room 302 by the wrist while with Ashley, by her hair.

Andrew asserts control of the person and the situation through violence. Whether it's by killing them (the wardens) or by threatening physical violence (the Lady from Room 302 and Ashley). It's always on the table for him. As Leyleyfication puts it, "He's so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence [here]."

That violence includes Ashley. It's always on the table where Ashley's concerned. The game even juxtaposes when Andrew threatens violence and physical assault 'playfully' versus when he's seriously out for blood:

When you interact with the wall of call girls' numbers and Ashley jokes about leaving her number on the wall, Andrew 'jokingly' threatens to backhand her for even thinking about it.

When you interact with their parents' latched window for a second time, Andrew 'teases' slapping Ashley if she doesn't find a way to open it. (Ashley jokingly asks if it's on her ass or at her face, and assumes it must be the face when Andrew says she'll have to find out.)

The two other times that Andrew exerts violence against Ashley are both in Episode 1 & 2. We can remember when that happens in Episode 1, when Andrew's had it with Ashley's fits and threatens to kill her:

Episode 1, common route. Y'all, Andrew was choking her hard enough for his grip to bruise.

It happens again in Decay when he confronts Ashley about repeatedly calling him Andy and therefore, breaking the promise he coerced her into from Episode 1.

Episode 2, Decay route. Another thing to keep in mind is that Andrew's outburst is preceded by Ashley prodding him about his current state and insisting that Andrew was fine with 'Andy' during their home invasion.

In Episode 1, Andrew resorts to harming Ashley because he's fucking had it with her accusing him repeatedly of trying anything with the Lady from 302 and, in her eyes, his 'infidelity.' Where she accuses Andrew of not loving her enough that if his eye catches another girl, he'd leave her behind or flip on her. In Episode 2, she's poking and prodding on his boundaries on 'Andy' and whether or not, once again, he's with her on their now-committed life of joint crime.

If I can give another example, it happens in Andrew's common route memory of Nina's death and his blood oath with Leyley.

Episode 2, common route. Prior to this, Andy expresses immense exasperation at Leyley's tantrums over him 'thinking about that bitch again.' When he goes to grab the kitchen knife, cleans it, and returns to Leyley on his bed—he's briefly considering killing her.

Andrew threatens Ashley violently whenever he intends to confront her on her perceived brattiness, for lack of a better word. And keep Leyleyfication's essay segment on Ashley's insecurities and need for Andrew's validation in mind here—when Ashley does this, she wants and even needs Andrew to comfort her. But her aggression treads Andrew's patience and really, his tolerance of her behavior.

When Ashley's anger, clinging behavior, insecurities, and possessiveness of Andrew slips his control and tolerance, he resorts to violence to coerce or even dominate her.

I think (or hope, if it's clear enough) it reinforces what Leyleyfication points out:

The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don't mean in the sense that I'm saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this.

It also reflects on another aspect of why Andrew resorts to violence: in all three situations, Andrew remarks on Ashley's behavior and her sake. If she acts up again once they're out of the apartment, it'll cause trouble for him while they're evading authorities. If she's going to call him Andy from hereon out, what's the point of running away with her. If she expects him to leverage keeping 'her secret,' he won't because it's for her sake.

Andrew rationalizes his attempt to control of Ashley's behavior as being for her sake. But really, isn't it him confining her behavior to something he can tolerate and personally handle?

I'd also like to point out that Andrew admits that he noticed Ashley push for calling him 'Andy' during the home invasion, and he did not argue with her on it while they held their parents hostage and readied to sacrifice them. We can infer that when Andrew calculates his use of violence, that can also factor when, where, and how he exerts it.

--

Well, that's where I can reasonably end this half of my word vomit! Now, onwards, to part 2!

[super-paper]

What was the point of Chapter 419 with AFO giving Tomura decay and being involved in his life since he was born, besides generating AFO is behind everything and Kotaro gay affair memes?

I still believe Hori could have pulled this off if he hadn't veered completely off course after 419 because a LOT of Tenko's (and AFO's) arc revolves around the concepts of "identity" and fantasy vs reality (Like, just scratching the surface: AFO attempting to escape from his reality through fantasy, Tenko angrily attempting to pull away the curtain of fantasy and expose the cruel reality of their world. AFO using "reality" as his source of power by claiming its victims for himself, Tenko using "fantasy" as his power by offering those same victims a dream and the promise of an "escape" from their painful reality. "Shigaraki Tomura" as the fictional construct that both AFO and Tenko are attempting to insert themselves into, for both different and similar reasons-- Tenko because he decides to embrace the fact that he killed his family and uses it as evidence that he was "born evil" and "wanted them to die" as a way of explaining his existence. AFO because he wants to escape from the reality that he murdered his brother, while also escaping from the reality of his origin as a helpless infant who no one would look at no matter how much he cried. Blah blah blah etc etc when I say u have to read AFO and Tenko's arcs as a set instead of getting angry at AFO for "inserting himself into Tenko's story," I really do mean it lmao).

Like, MVA aside, Chapter 115 in particular set the tone for Act 2 and HEAVILY foreshadowed what Tenko's arc would end up being about:

(lmao ya'll there is so much evidence in Act 2 that points to the idea that Hori really did want to write a deconstruction of your typical hero story. like, the framing of this panel with Jin angrily turning the TV off when they start talking about "focusing on the positives"????😭I get so sad when I think about the mha we coulda had)

(Side note: Jin was just so so so good as both a character and as a device meant to introduce the reader to MHA's concepts of identity + how a "hero/villain" identities are frequently used as crutches to stop a person from breaking apart under the weight of their trauma

..... which of course makes the fact that Hori rendered his death pointless in the end all the more upsetting :/)

(Pictured: AFO and Tenko fighting over the role of Shigaraki Tomura)

(this scene where Jin talks about the importance of knowing "who u really are" immediately transitions to a scene with AFO, btw. lmao)

((As an aside: 115 is another shining example of how Hori is definitely a competent writer, bc it manages to set up pretty much the entirety of Act 2 + its themes up in just 15-17 pages-- which is all the more reason why the extremely poor quality of MHA's conclusion is so hard to swallow. I definitely don't believe in blaming the editors/publishers alone for how things turned out, but all the same, I do think there was some executive meddling from behind the scenes bc of how rushed and disjointed the epilogue ended up being. It's not the quality we're used to, not by a long shot, and you can tell as much by reading pretty much any chapter before 423.)) /tangent over

ANYWAY. To me, it ways always pretty obvious that AFO was more or less grooming Tenko to be his perfect ~Demon Lord~ OC-- the idea of treating a real person like a fictional character is something I find pretty terrifying + it's something that further emphasizes MHA's metafiction elements, with Tenko being trapped in a role that was written for someone else. I feel that there was adequate build up to AFO being "the author" behind Shigaraki Tomura, specifically-- and it all seemed to be leading up to a point where Tenko would be encouraged to break free & finally take control of his own story ("I needed to hear those words" -> "Those guys (the villains) need a hero, too" -> "You CAN be a hero" "Uh, whoopsie??" 🥲🥲🥲)

Sadly it ends up amounting to nothing because..... Tenko isn't even allowed to fully process the implications of his birth/life and how this has influenced his actions/beliefs/"dream" before exploding, a core scene between him and Nana gets offscreened, and our MC never even bothers to react to the revelation that Tenko's life was scripted. It renders a HUGE part of Tenko's character arc almost completely pointless because we get no actual resolution/pay off for everything that was set up. Like, so much of the finale + epilogue just feels like Hori was going down a check list of plot points/parallels he wanted to include before putting MHA out of its misery, rather than building up to them naturally-- and it's just sad it had to end this way, bc, well. It didn't HAVE to end this way. Hori had all the ingredients necessary to make something truly wonderful, but he didn't use them.

[warblogs17282]

"Without all this, I'm just nothing, and Mammon made me this. I owe it all to him."

This is gonna sound a tad weird but I honestly want to see more flashbacks of Cash and Fizzarolli interacting back in the circus, from Fizzarolli's perspective.

Now, you're probably asking why at this point.

And my answer to that is that I highly suspect that Mammon's abuse of Fizzarolli has roots in Cash's abuse of Fizzarolli back in the circus.

I've established before in another post that Fizzarolli was the golden child back in the circus days for a few reasons, and I think a key takeaway from that post is this quote 'They coerce their child into being “perfect”'.

Now sure this is talking about parent and child relationships here but hear me out, Mammon did this, as proven by this quote from Asmodeus.

"You think you need to be this perfect, model performer, but that's because Mammon is always forcing that image onto you!"

And thinking about it, this rings surprisingly close to Cash's abuse of Fizzarolli, we know Cash only saw their value as how much money they could make Cash, and Fizzarolli was always amazing at doing that, making the entire audience laugh, being great at tricks that sort of stuff.

We know that Cash would use coercion and manipulation to get people to do what he wants as well, as seen with him doing exactly that with Blitz in s2 e1, so I highly suspect that Cash was doing similar things to Fizzarolli back in the circus days, using these tactics to make Fizzarolli be perfect in his circus performances because that's what made Cash more money.

Another quote that from my other post where I talk about Fizzarolli being a victim of the golden child abuse tactic is 'putting large amounts of pressure on them to do what’s expected or face losing the love of their parents'

And we know for a fact that Mammon was putting large amounts of pressure on Fizzarolli to do what's expected, as shown by this quote from Fizzarolli:

"But, everything I have is because of Mammon. I have this life. I have security. I have you. Without Mammon I wouldn't be… I wouldn't have… I just… I have to win this."

The sheer amount of pressure Fizzarolli is under during this scene is so plainly obvious, but instead of losing 'the love of their parents', Fizzarolli thinks he faces losing 'this life', 'security' and 'Asmodeus', which just really tells us that Mammon would hold these things over Fizzarolli's head, and threaten to take them away if he didn't do what Mammon expects from him, putting Fizzarolli under large amounts of pressure to do what Mammon says.

And again, I highly suspect that Cash did similar things to Fizzarolli back in the circus, considering this quote when he was telling Blitz to steal from Stolas: "There are scarier things, aren't there, son?", now, this could mean a lot of different things to Blitz, but it shows that Cash put a lot of pressure on Blitz to do what's expected, in this case that being stealing from Stolas, and if he did that for Blitz, there's nothing stopping Cash from doing similar things to Fizzarolli, which could be something like, taking away his 'love' for Fizzarolli if he doesn't do what Cash expects him to do to, which naturally would put Fizzarolli under a lot of pressure to perform well in the circus.

tldr: I believe that Mammon's abuse of Fizzarolli in some ways is extremely similar to Cash's abuse of Fizzarolli.

If you want to learn more about Fizzarolli being the golden child, just look at this post:

[keicordelle]

Yuki and Performativity: the autistic mask

(aka the analysis I've been trying to figure out how to format for like 3 weeks)

Okay, so now that Yuki's autism has been ~established~ (here, but I'm just going to pretend everyone was following along), I'm really really interested in the subtle ways that that presents itself in his characterization.

Because Re:member does a really great job of making it obvious, because it's written in Yuki's perspective (at least in vol 2) and so heavily flavored with his own though process. But It's equally present in his characterization in the anime (and I assume the game, but I'm not caught up so we're just going based on the anime here). And a lot of that time, that characterization is so delightfully subtle that I didn't even pick up on it the first time through. But now I'm obsessed and I'm Noticing Things and y'all must suffer with me. so.

I think it's fair to say that Yuki's blunt and cold nature are features of his autism. Also probably the fact that he is extremely awkward when it comes to emotions and, notably for this discussion, expressing them. (oh to be a fire extinguisher)

But he's also really good at acting. And I'm making some assumptions here based on my own experiences, but I figure this comes in large part from the amount of effort he puts into trying to read others. He picks apart other people's interactions to figure out why they're reacting certain ways because he doesn't Get It.

And so he uses that in his every day life. Like, you wouldn't really figure someone so extremely autistic and introverted would make for a very good idol, what with the whole "having to interact with people all day every day" thing -- and he didn't want to be an idol! He just wanted to make his music and have people appreciate it! In fact, he looked down on idols at first, which probably had more to do with him undervaluing their artistic integrity (or at least I imagine that's how he would frame it), but he is very explicit about how he doesn't like how people fawn over him (read: idols) because of their looks rather than on the merits of the music.

Anyway. One of the key features of his characterization is that he's always acting. Always. There are a handful of moments we see him in the anime where he's not playing a role, even and particularly when he's off stage.

I've talked before (here) about Re:vale's introduction and how from the very first moment we see them, they're On. Not just in their initial prank on i7 where they pretend to be serious and scary, but also in the bubbly happy personas they present afterwards. They drop one mask for another, and at no point are they ever not wearing their idol stage personas. This is relevant to i7 for reasons but for this discussion rant it's relevant because this is how Yuki engages with the world. There are only a handful of times where we ever see him truly drop his guard -- usually only when he's alone with Momo, and occasionally around Yamato, which will be relevant in a bit. (And one other very notable time towards the end of season 3, but we'll get there.)

Anyway. He's only ever comfortable when he's playing a role. Which is never explicitly established, and I love it all the more for that, because they're totally content to just let you pick up on that without shoving it in your face. But they introduce it in ways that are subtler than I even thought at first. Because at first I was like, "okay, well he's got his stage ikemen persona, and he's got his sillier tsukkomi routine, and he's got his darker prankster who genuinely seems to be enjoying your discomfort persona (which is probably the one among them that's closest to his reality, because he really does seem to enjoy teasing and making people uncomfortable even when he's not On)

But literally any time he has to engage with someone, he falls back on a performance. A myriad of them, in as many different faces as he needs. And even when he tries to be genuine, he'll fall back on that performative role as soon as someone offers him an out. He will become whatever other people need or want him to be, so long as it doesn't involve being himself.

We see this particularly clearly while Yamato's struggling with his role in Mission and Yuki comes to him in a genuine effort to help

You can see the transformation in Yuki's face : Yamato has offered him a role, and he is now going to take that and run with it.

He steps into that role as easily as that, and from there on out, everything he says, while still true to his own beliefs, is very heavily shaded by his new performance as a criminal psychologist. It makes it easier for him to express himself, because he's no longer Yukito Orikasa, fumbling his way through emotions that he's been told time and again that he doesn't express properly, he's Yuki, criminal psychologist, and that's something he can figure out how to be.

You can even see it in his gestures; from then on, they get extremely dramatic, very much what you'd expect in a stage play (moreso even than in a movie). Which works well considering this is an anime and dramatic gestures suit the medium, and that's probably part of why I didn't really notice that at first. Even his tone becomes more dramatic. You can hear it flowing up and down the scale of emotion, rather than his usual low, teasing edge. Really great direction all around tbh

We see this same sort of transformation in the next episode, while Yamato's staying with him, and honestly this scene makes it a whole lot clearer. Yuki does actually start off more himself in this episode because he's in his own home. He doesn't really want to go out of his way for Yamato, he's mostly helping him out of obligation, so the mask slips a bit.

He flits in and out of a couple different personas fairly rapidly at the start of their interaction. Even Yamato remarks on this, which I actually didn't realize until just now when I was skimming through to find the shot I wanted to reference. He's never fully seen Yuki with his metaphorical hair down before, and the change is remarkable

He offers Yamato some advice, rather against his own will. His countdown here is his "speak now if you want me to listen to your problems or else I'm leaving" ultimatum, and he fully intended to when he gets to zero. But he doesn't (which I think surprises them both), and when Yamato calls out to him, he stops and actually offers genuine advice, no persona there to filter it. And it's harsh, like he usually is when he's unfiltered, because he's Autistic As Fuck and doesn't really know how to be anything else no matter how hard he tries (as is very explicitly laid out in Re:member : he has tried, hard, and he just can't figure it out)

And then he immediately falls into another role, when it's clear he's going to be trapped in this conversation that he doesn't really want to be having. Which is equal parts to soothe himself and to piss of Yamato, I think. Maybe heavier on the piss-off-Yamato side of things, because for all that he's helping him, they really really don't like each other, and Yuki's really kind of an asshole at heart

And from here on out he fully embraces the mocking asshole persona he's chosen to adopt. The same thing happens: he becomes more expressive both in voice and gesture, and it both softens the blow of the harsh things he says and makes it worse.

And you can then see the exact moment Yuki realizes that he's Fucked Up this conversation and pushed things much much further than he expected or intended to

(a shot which is on the screen for like less than half a second and that I had to clip and go frame by frame through to get because my own autism is now Activated)

The next scene is, I think, rather intentionally ambiguous (at least at the start) as to how genuine Yuki's responses are. It's fairly well established that, despite his aichmophobia, Yuki doesn't really have a ton of self-preservation instinct when it comes to fights, so it's seems entirely reasonable that his continued efforts to poke at the already enraged bear are just, what he'd do and not a persona he's putting on

However, it becomes clearer further into the scene that this is indeed another performance for him. First here, somewhat subtly, where in the actual line of dialogue, he calls Yamato "Yamato-bocchan", which, while appropriately mocking, also places him very firmly in a role other than his natural disposition.

From here on out, it becomes fairly clear to me that he's reverted back to his role from Mission. Yukito Orikasa is shed once more (if he was ever truly present here), and Yuki the Criminal Psychologist has taken his place. Yamato's breakdown follows a similar script to his character's here, though his is genuine -- but Yuki reads the similarities and falls back into his psychologist role.

He then offers Yamato some advice that actually references Shizuo's own words, which is... a huge Dick Move in this moment but that is actually a super neat and subtle reference, especially because he genuinely thinks he's helping.

he's not.

And this part is fun because it then becomes a lot less clear if Yamato's clued in to the role he's playing and is now playing along with his part in the movie, or if he's really just genuinely doing this (it's the latter, but it teases the possibility for most of the scene)

But anyway, the point kind of got away from me. You see Yuki fall back on this acting any time he's in a situation he doesn't know how to handle -- or, well. Not just then, actually. Pretty much in any situation. He's more comfortable pretending to be someone else than he is being himself, and he'll default to that whenever he can get away with it. He maintains it even when he's alone with Momo a lot of the time (I have an headcanon about Momo knowing what it is he's doing and allowing him it, as a sort of kindness)

Of course, his dealings with Yamato are hardly the only time we see this so clearly presented. He draws any number of roles over him like a mask, and falls into whichever suits his needs -- perhaps most notably at the very end of season 3, where he dons the caricature persona of a thug in order to try to protect Momo. Which is, uh. Maybe not the best idea he's ever had but hey, it works, kind of, so more power to you, Yuki.

He (arguably) adopts this same sort of thuggy image earlier in the season, for much the same reasons, when he waits outside Ryo's apartment with a baseball bat (that he definitely does not know how to use).

However! Of particular interest is the scene where he confronts Touma, where he's actually not assuming some sort of role. This scene is pure, unadulterated Yuki, and that frightens Touma and Torao exactly the same way as it puzzled Yamato above.

This scene itself is more a commentary on his relationship with Momo than it is Yuki's performative nature, really, because it highlights very well the fact that he's willing to do anything for the sake of his partner. It's pretty clear to me that when he walks into the dressing room and when he first confronts Touma, he's not Yuki the Badass, he's Yukito Orikasa, desperately trying to track down his partner.

Like, this is very much Yuki's real personality, not one of his endless roles

And that is precisely what gives him the edge here. Touma and Torao are really not expecting him to be so cruel and careless. They're used to Idol Yuki, handsome and flippant and appeasing. Not Yukito, entirely willing to stomp all over the law if it means saving Momo from danger

This is one of the only times that Yuki lets his true colors shine so obviously true. Usually Momo or Rinto is there to remind him to be aware of his station and to keep himself in check, but Momo is in danger and Yuki Does Not Care about the consequences, because at the end of the day, he's cold and calculating and absolutely nothing like the friendly persona he puts on, and he's only really doing this because he's passionate about music, not because he loves being an idol

Anyway. I guess all that sums up into: Yuki, first among the Autists, hides behind different masks so often that everyone around him is startled when he drops them, including himself a lot of the time. And that the show (and presumably the game) does a really incredible job of presenting this incredibly subtly

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

BFTC isn’t really a case of terrible characterization for Jason so much as it was a terrible case of victim blaming. Like yeah, some of the things Jason did were a bit extreme compared to his “better” appearances, but that’s nothing new and pretty much true of many stories that aren’t utrh or lost days. The bad parts are are also definitely exaggerated by fans.

The story isn’t centered on Jason. Of course every other character’s description of Jason would be knee-jerk dismissive and misunderstanding, since (again) the intention was to make Jason out to be the cartoony bad guy villain. But if you look past the layers of grime they added, the bare bones of his characterization are not entirely incorrect. It’s a biased story in which their intended criticisms of Jason’s morals often fell short, so to compensate they deliberately cranked up his motivations to be more extreme and unrealistic (but one which, nonetheless got Jason’s overall thoughts and goals relatively consistent with stories that portrayed him accurately).

Yes, him shooting Damian was out of character, but granted we’re all in agreement that it was a true case of “bad writing decision”, I don’t think it’s hard to look past. The only other bit people probably complain about (which felt iffy at worst) was him being “a bit enthusiastic” at times in trying to convince Dick to become another lethal Batman (you can just as easily say Jason wouldn’t have been personally invested enough to have acted in the way he did). I don’t care though because he was probably doing it for shits and giggles, and it was funny watching him push their buttons on his spare time while being excellent at his job. Same old ‘none of them deny that he’s effective, they just can’t get behind the killing’ conflict.

Looking past the fact that Jason still had a valid point, the “he’s the bad guy” plot falls apart for other obvious reasons, which happen in the 3rd issue. It’s kind of hard to focus on how much of a bitch Jason’s being when the other characters are written in an infinitely more problematic way (which ends up happening in most “hate Jason” stories). Not only did they heavily imply Jason is a victim of SA, but the way Dick/the batfamily treats Jason about this is … horrible. Arguing that this was a case of character assassination for Bruce and Dick would be more realistic than using this story to claim Jason is a Bad Person™.

Even though Bruce does have a bad track record with his perspective on victims of SA.

Hey. Maybe listen to the living person begging you to turn it off.

Geez. I wonder why he never felt safe enough to confide in Bruce or any of the rest of them. Implying that enduring what he did made him “broken beyond repair”, that he needs to be “fixed”, and saying verbatim, “you are my greatest failure”, not “I failed you greatly”. Then deciding on behalf of Jason that a bunch of people who weren’t involved in what happened to him should all know about this so they can decide what should be done. And everyone agrees with this garbage. Unbelievable.

Aka, any sort of healing he may have tried to accomplish was ruined by you lot. When exactly am I supposed to see that Jason was evil all along.

The story collapses in on itself in the third issue because where Dick is supposed to be at his prime within the arc, he just sort of rambles about how Jason was a shitty victim and then awkwardly shifts to talking about personal growth and coming to accept his own heroic destiny.

I do resent this, but not because “Jason sucks here”. Jason’s “bad portrayal” pales in comparison to the problematic mindsets given to the other characters (namely Dick) which were framed as good-natured intentions and “tough love”. As for people who describe this as “vilifying Jason to prop up Dick” … I don’t really know what to make of that.

[thedroloisms]

like ultimately speaking i don't even think that public discussions into the identity of shubble's ex are that necessary. at a certain point i think it's up to personal discretion, especially in terms of different platforms - for example, having a certain amount of discretion when it comes to spaces where it's more likely for shubble to see. that being said, at a certain point, it was obvious that the calls to Not Speculate, to Not Bring Up Him why are you saying his name he doesn't have to do with this i'm going to wait until shubble makes a statement if she wanted us to know then she'd say his name :) were doing a shit ton more harm than good?

like, shubble wasn't making an accusation. why people were flat out expecting her to say more in itself is beyond me. at the end of the day, people's willingness to continue supporting a content creator is a personal decision - shelby certainly wasn't trying to frame her stream as an allegation with proof. it was an ancedote about a personal experience with relevant details. along that same note, taking up pitchforks and banging on the door of the person in question is ??? again, the stream was hardly framed as an accusation & proof, and that was on purpose. whether or not one believes that he deserves a platform, with the great pains that shelby has taken in order to keep themselves from directly pointing at any specific person and making a direct accusation, brigading in their name in ways meant to directly attack the person in question feels...distasteful, literally for her sake.

like, any fan is capable and has the right to withdraw their support at any time, and giving other people reasons to withdraw their support isn't wrong either, as stating one's opinion is obviously perfectly fine. but uhhhh direct attacks without an explicit accusation being made are a bit of a different story.

but back to the first point, watching people in real time go Oh Don't Bring Up [Name] Sweaty :) was ???? like, it's impossible to go without acknowledging that if it wasn't him, that the amount of coincidences between her ex and the cc would be EXTREMELY high. "there's millions of ccs in england" and shubble was spending hours a day and in the apartment of every single one of them??? like be fucking fr??? this isn't even a case of it's a 50/50 between him and some other guy just based on the number of coincidences as described by shelby's one (1) stream alone, not to mention the corroborating evidence of things like the year's worth of content they produced with each other in recent years. and like, the literal album. which meant that even with the extremely likely possibility of him being the person, people were fucking tripping over themselves to scream NOT TO SPECULATE !!! DONT SAY IT'S [NAME] !!! to the point where when i clicked on the trending tab, tweets along those lines made up at least half if not more of the results. tweets she clearly saw, based on statements by her and her mods. like, look, even if the calls not to speculate came from a place of good intentions, they were all getting swallowed up by the noise of people explicitly telling other people Out Loud not to bring up the possibility of the man who was very likely the person she was talking about as being her ex - all while claiming to speak in her name #believevictims [words they continue to put in her mouth].

like, yeah, when you're going DONT TALK ABOUT HIM!!!!! this totally looks like you care about her and her story and not like a silencing tactic.

[talenlee]

Speaking In Mangled Tongues

I don’t talk right.

I mean I talk in a way that has obvious incorrect ideas in it. My idioms, my reference frame, even the ways I engage a newcomer into my life, these are all things that I feel, in a very pronounced way, are weird and wrong.

I am blessed in that now I’m old enough that I just seem eccentric, or old fashioned, or, to my students, some boring old guy. I’ve passed the time when people my own age can hear the way I speak and think ‘hey, there’s something wrong there.’ I’m also lucky in that I don’t seem to look my age, which means people my own age talk to me and think I’m just weird and young, and people younger than me have no idea if I’m five or ten years older than them.

I have been out of fundamentalist christianity for twenty years. Doesn’t matter. The effect is still there. The effect is not a byproduct of doing things in a Christian way, but rather the result of my developmental period being limited to socially conversing with about ten people who were almost all the same age as me, and almost all as limited in their experiences as me.

Our way of speaking was simplified, our poetry was dulled, our grasp of language and rhythm and meter were all deliberately contained and curtailed. I don’t know how to dance and I struggle with clapping in time with music, I am uncertain of how to even describe the way I sing or the way music works, because these words, in a period where I was building the foundations of meaning in language, were all kept from me.

We’d repeat lines from TV, over and over, but we’d only be able to do that with the TV shows that were acceptable, that our teacher didn’t ban from hearing us say. We wouldn’t hear pop music of the day, except in tiny excerpts, at places like the supermarket. The idiom and language we learned therefore mostly was imprinted with references from our adult peers, and they were deliberately stifling us. I grew up delivering the jokes of the Rocky and Bullwinkle and The Goon Show affect, but didn’t watch or participate in the common public life of my age. I learned rhetoric presentation from the preachers in my family, I learned the way you pace and build and demonstrate a point.

It’s something of an embarrassing story, but I feel more it should be embarrassing to my family than to myself, but I learned about sexual reproduction not from my parents nor from school, but from reading an expanded dictionary and looking up every single thing I could until I had a working model. That working model had to then be interpreted onto some extremely dubious source material.

This creates a corpus of reference, of performance of language that is equal parts highly technical language pronounced wrong, a melange of calliopes, dated references that predate my entire birth, and playful words from childish source material, like the actual text of Alice In Wonderland. The whole mix means that a lot of my conversation, certainly in those early days, was not so much about talking to someone and sharing ideas or getting answers to questions, but to perform at people, to present in a way that got focus, so you could convey your position.

By the way, don’t be surprised to learn it’s also racist. Accents completely confounded me growing up. We had some neighbours from down the street whose names I remember, who invited us to their home and shared curry and rice and flatbread with us, and about whom I know almost nothing but their names and maybe that they were from Pakistan. I know they were nice and I know we dressed up nice to visit them and I know we went to them once and never again thereafter. I do not remember a single word they said to me and I do not understand anything but their names, and that isn’t because I was very, very young, it’s because when I try to remember what they said, what comes out is tone, and a sort of sloppy, choppy half-way handling of language. My memory can only remember those two people saying their names.

It wasn’t like they spoke to us in Urdu, I just had no idea how to process a thick accent at that age. Or later. It took me decades to build even a familiarity with grammar structures outside of my extremely normalised experience.

This isn’t built out of, by the way, glossalalia – not speaking in tongues. We didn’t truck with that in my church. In fact, those people, we could tell, obviously, were all faking it. Some of them claimed to be possessed, but they so obviously weren’t, that was silly. We could tell that there was something nonsense about that, so we didn’t do that. Of course, we also only read the King James Bible, which meant that that corpus got to form an underpinning for how we made points, how we were compelling; we quoted scripture at one another, meaning that particular manner of speech was the way good points were made.

The way my way of speaking is composed is so obvious — to me — as impersonations of media forms. Finding my own voice, finding my own identity, is so fucking difficult. Even writing as much as I do, as often as I do, I still have these moments of you got that joke from Douglas Adams or didn’t you copy that from Yahtzee?

I was a teenager who knew the word unctuous and cephalaphore but didn’t know what motherfucker meant.

And that’s part of why I love The Locked Tomb so much HAH bet you didn’t expect that to show up here. Look, the main characters of Gideon the Ninth are essentially, two of the most homeschooled fundamentalists you’re going to see without uh, meeting people like me. But instead of making the story sad and miserable because of that, the Locked Tomb books instead decide to make sure that story is focused on cool sword fights and creepy magic rather than, like, the trauma of being locked in a small wooden box and punished for looking at the sky. That particular way of talking Gideon’s narrative voice has, which is able to be sophisticated enough to know the term liquescent, while also base and childish enough to refer to galumphing down bread. And that’s of course, setting aside that ‘galumph’ is a word I knew out of nowhere, because it’s a word my dad uses, because it was used widely on radio programs across Commonwealth nations in the 1950s and 1960s including as part of an ad campaign to refer to when a character arrived quickly.

Yeah, random tumblr user, complaining about galumph. I’m coming for you.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[monkey-d-ezekiel]

I totally understand why manga readers hate the One Piece anime. like, the anime borderline ruins a lot of the important aspects of the show. I see so many one piece anime watchers who are frustrated with so much stuff in the anime, and like. please try the manga. for your own good. it'll take some effort getting used to, but once you get in the groove you won't be frustrated in that way at all. i promise. Oda has created what is more or less a masterpiece, and here's some ways in which Toei botched it and watered down the experience.

1. Art + Animation

the OP manga has some of the most consistently good art compared to a lot of other series. The shading conveys emotions well, the atmosphere is well built, and Oda makes pretty good usage of the 2D page in conveying 3D movement. The biggest difference is that while the women are still not the most accurately proportioned, there's a lot more emphasis on their facial expressions and overall aura and demeanor.

the anime spoils all this by giving us sloppy character design and lazy animation. since the episodes are still weekly and not seasonal, they have to pump out fast and cheap animation, which makes them overuse still frames, motion blur and overall just not give the source material the effort it deserves. the women in the show have zero detail paid to their facial features, and they all seem to have had their breasts artificially endowed to 3x the size of their head by the ever generous toei animators.

Honestly, the One Piece anime is on par with shows like Dragonball Super when it comes to bad art and animation. Especially post-timeskip.

2. Pacing

pacing is always a big issue that anime watchers point out, and at this point bringing up this issue is like beating a dead horse. it's still extremely important though, because the manga is most definitely not this badly paced. 1 chapter worth of content is animated into 1 full length episode. the length of all the impactful scenes is elongated with reaction shots, exclamations of "woah! a very obvious thing is happening in front of us! unbelievable!", as well as stare-offs, wide shots and unnecessary flashbacks that all seem to last for an eternity.

there are 2-5 minute recaps in every episode as well, just in case you lost track of everything that has happened so far in the story you're following with interest. the manga has none of these issues, and the best part is that you can decide your own pace. if something is boring, just read past it quickly. if it's dense or interesting, slow down, take your time and savor it. the emotional impact of scenes is not lost simply because of how often they're repeated/elongated, as often happens in the anime.

In conclusion, the pacing and art quality of the source material is far superior to that of the anime adaptation, and while I do find it very epic when my favorite manga scenes are animated in the show, I don't think it's reasonable for anyone to put themselves through the grueling ordeal of watching the dragged out episodes of this anime simply for those moments/fights.

If you like the anime, that's great, im happy you're following the story of one piece in the way you find most suitable, and i don't wanna demean you at all because these are all just subjective opinions. but if you're an anime watcher who finds themselves to be frustrated with some of the issues in the anime, i think you could give the manga a try. it'll take some getting used to, but you won't have any of the frustrations that will persist as long as this anime is airing.

[missoneminute]

I can’t help but find it strange that p+c have always been so open about so many taboo topics, but have mostly denied any sexual aspect to their own relationship (aside from ‘physicality has ensued’ - which could have meant fighting - everything else has been a denial). Even though there does seem to be proof out there, plus the fact that they were always all over each other on stage. Why deny? Not wanting to be pegged as a certain type of band? A need for privacy (which makes sense except for all the on stage stuff)? Maybe they really never did (in which case, were they ever accused of queerbaiting)? I don’t expect you to know, just wondered what your thoughts are!

Hello! You wanna know my god’s honest opinion?

I think some stuff went down once or twice (probably when out of their skulls), then they avoided eye contact for two days after, and they’ve never wanted to be defined by something they probably felt weird about and that is quite private. That’s genuinely my opinion. I won’t be convinced that nothing at all happened even if they said it to my face. I think it’s Occam’s razor in this case. A lot that adds up to something pretty obvious, but I also don’t believe and won’t ever believe it was anything significant, ongoing or committed. I think they had a weird fucking relationship that was highly codependent and anyone who has been in one of those knows at some stage after a few shandies bodies get explored. I also wrote basically an essay on this topic said much more eloquently than this a while back so I will reblog that in a second. Regarding the on stage stuff… honestly I think they just enjoy it. I’m sure there’s some element of playing it up here and there but overall I think they like doing it, it brings them a lot of comfort, and it’s also just how they are - they’re very tactile with each other off stage too, they’re just extremely used to touching each other and finding comfort in that, to the point where they even did it almost involuntarily during the 2010 reunion while still being in the throes of a war. They’d just gravitate, because they have such well defined maps to one another that they drift close without trying. As for queer baiting - oh yeah they were absolutely accused of it. They still are. And I don’t think they NEVER do it. Makes sense to lean into that expectation if it’s enjoyable for you. For me where that accusation falls down, is it’s one thing to look a little cosy on stage to get the fangirl pulses going, it’s another to post pained romantic diatribes online, collage entire diaries full of weird longing and write boundless songs that frame your relationship romantically. But ultimately I don’t think much went on physically speaking. If it did they might have released some of their god awful tension which screams of unfulfilled “feelings”. Like Roger Sargent once said, they needed to get a room. Couldn’t have made it any worse I guess. X

[chirpsythismorning]

Hi.what make you believe byler is endgame and how do you think The Duffer will make them endgame?

There's a lot of different factors for why I believe byler is endgame. If it was only one or two or three or a single digit amount of things, then I'd probably be more skeptical. Instead it's so many things that I don't think I can even quantify with any number?

Long post ahead so queue for later if you must!

I used to ship milkvan back in the day, and that's probably because I watched the show once and fell for the whole boy meets girl trope as peak romance, without even thinking about it? Like my first time rewatching the show pre-s3, I remember only focusing on their scenes and even going as far as to skip entire episodes in s2 without them in it, so it's really no wonder I missed details that might have helped me understand the full picture.

I also don't get queer-baited, like ever. I have watched shows like Teen Wolf where fans loved sterek, and even though that show had a gay show-runner, it was obvious to me they were never going that route, despite kind of feeding fans over the years with banter between them. The problem was the details weren't pointing to them being endgame, they were pointing to stydia. With stydia, they were using color coding in their costumes and had the fucking red string of fate in the frame with them multiple times and they were having entire plot lines built up around sort of their feelings for each other. Then there's all the other shows out there like Supernatural and Sherlock, and to me, it just felt like two guys that had chemistry that fans read as romantic and were having fun with it, only for the writers to try to profit off of that hope fans had, just sort of fucking with fans for years without really going for it literally in the text of the story.

And even if they did (albeit extremely subtly) that's when you would see shows tend to kill off the characters. Because after years of queer-baiting, the only solution is to kill at least one off, after tricking a sector of your audience for so long. Because unfortunately, no, they're not going to end up together, so we just have to get rid of one of them to make it clear that it won't happen.

While I don't vividly remember the moment I dropped Milkvan and picked up byler, I do remember watching s3 for the first time and feeling like something was off. And then to humor my confusion, I went online and came across an analysis for the end of s3. Even though it did really made me think like 'woah.. what was that?', in the moment, I was still in a position to not want to fall for it because of all the queer-baiting out there. I'd never fallen for it before and I wasn't going to start now basically.

And then I didn't read any more theories after that, I just basically jumped into rewatching the show for fun again, without really thinking about it even, and without skipping this time. And I vividly remember the shed scene definitely had some romantic undertones going on. When the camera was focused on Mike talking to Will, we didn't get any reaction shots in between of Joyce and Jonathan. Whereas when Joyce and Jonathan talked to Will, we got Mike's reaction and both Jonathan and Joyce's kind of reactions to each others speeches in that moment, which was to obviously convey the familial bond going on. And so in contrast, seeing Mike's monologue to Will be isolated, without any cuts to the others reactions during, with intense close-ups of Mike and Will, with Mike literally having one by one teardrops falling down his face and him repeating softly you said yes, you said yes... That... Like it made me really start to consider it in that moment, based on my new potential understanding of the end of s3 and based on what I had found upon rewatching that time.

Even still though, I didn't let myself believe it. And maybe in large part it was bc I did like the idea of byler I guess? And so that made me want to be more cautious? Other times when I came across fans shipping queer pairings that weren't canon, it felt like harmless shipping to me, where like I got the appeal, but didn't like feel genuine intentional slow-burn chemistry? It was always a thing that at most I liked merely as fanon. And so I guess I was trying to prepare myself for that inevitable disappointment that it wasn't going to go any further than what it had?

Maybe it was also because I was holding onto this idea of milkvan I had at the beginning? An idea that in large part contributed to my ability to get hooked with the show in the first place? Boy meets girl is like the most universal trope in our society and it was easy to just go along with it when everyone else was.

But more than anything I do think it was because I thought it just had to be queer-bait like it's always has been. At best I thought maybe it would continue very vaguely in the subtext in s4, with like 1 or two scenes at most hinting at attraction? But we all know that's not what happened..

S4 promo dropped, and I remember being like well here goes. It had been over a year, almost two since I'd been exposed to the possiblity of byler, though I was going into it prepared to see Mike and El being perfectly in love and that they were just going to act like nothing had ever happened between Mike and Will.

But then that Cali poster dropped. And that had me reeling. I remember sending a text to my sister like 'QUEER-BAIT?' and she was like yep queer-bait. But that's also because she's in the mindset of someone that hasn't seen anything outside of watching the show, and while half paying attention at that. This is the first piece of evidence she is being presented with and so of course she is viewing it from a don't hope or assume that could ever happen bc it never happens lens.

Even that I took as maybe a reality check, that this meant nothing, but also at the same time, this is the Duffer Brothers? They're smart? Why would they apply the if boy is pointing his feet at you he is in love with you rule via New Girl, with Mike and Will in the Cali poster, for shits and giggles? When the whole point in those posters is to hide foreshadowing?

Regardless of how much it genuinely shocked me they were appearing to really play with this concept of Mike having romantic feelings for Will, I still didn't fully let myself think about it too much...

And then as s4 got closer and more stuff dropped and there was like a lot of promo hinting Will having feelings for Mike, that's when it really kicked in for me. And that's when I went back and rewatched and holy shit it suddenly became clear as fucking day. My excitement for Vol. 1 was insurmountable because I was just about to have all of these recent built up theories confirmed or denied.

When Vol. 1 finally premiered and it turned out Mike couldn't say I love you to El? And Will very clearly had feelings for Mike, staring at him constantly when he wasn't looking and conveniently with Mike's POV missing by comparison? There was just too much at play that perfectly set-up byler.

Mike having a hard time telling El he loves her, while also having a best friend beside him who is in love with him, like, that's sort of what makes it clear that this is them trying to create a conflict that easily transitions into this revelation that the reason why Mike couldn't commit to El was because he was struggling over repressed feelings for his best friend.

And then that doesn't even include all the details along the way that support it. Like closet scenes for example weren't able to be harmless anymore post-s3, they just weren't. That scene at the end with El and Mike in Will's room established this idea that Mike is in the closet, and s4 did not let up on that idea whatsoever.

We were being bombarded with very basic film techniques that any filmmaker would be thinking about to establish the story and setting and create a feeling to convey a message through all of that.

They did not need to have Mike sitting in front of his closet at the very start of s4. They did not have to have a one way sign pointing to it. They did not have to have two dudes with muscles on his walls while most of the other guys either have stuff completely unrelated to the human form or bikini clad woman. They did not have to show Mike in focus more while staring at Eddie fondly as he talks about DnD and getting out of Hawkins. They did not have to have Mike go searching for DnD replacements in the wrestling room and the art room followed by saying, I hate high school.

The I hate high school line is viewed by most of us as a throw away comedic sort of line. But it really isn't. In fact it's arguably as deep as without heart we'd all fall apart, which is why they literally had that be Mike's quote alongside that one being Will's quote for the season.

Mind you, all of this shit in 4x01 is happening after Mike just episodes ago, in the previous season, sort of treated playing DnD like it was something kids did and told Will he felt this way, by essentially saying he assumed they'd be getting girlfriends and moving on from this idea that they can play games for the rest of their lives.

So Mike in s3 went from I want to grow up and have a girlfriend and stop playing dnd bc it is childish, to in s4 Do you want to play with me? I will literally settle for an absolute stranger rn, literally anyone? No? Uh. I hate high school aka I don't want to grow up. Now he thinks that he's the childish one when really, it doesn't have to be, if he just opened his mind to it.

Watching s3-4 back to back is actually so real bc it's showcasing Mike's complete shift, a shift that basically got flipped from s1-2 to s3 to s3 to s4, and it's directly related to his relationship with El and Will (along with his parents who all of s2 punished him by taking away his toys when he acted out bc of trauma/called his toys hunks of plastic and to essentially be used as collateral bc he's going to need to grow up eventually anyways). And we see how that is conveyed when he shows up to Cali unlike his true self, he just reverts right back to trying to be someone else like in s3. Only now he's trying to pull off a Cali look on-top of it, wearing sunglasses as he mumbles an incoherent sound, something like, 'eahauw' as he rushes up to kiss and hug El, putting the flowers between them so he had an excuse to separate sooner than later, followed actually voicing words to will, moving his duffel back out of the way to hug will properly, w/out sunglasses, visibly very happy to see Will, only to not even be able to hug him by cutting it short. AND for Argyle to confirm our suspicions by calling him a knock off?? NOW I'M REALIZING IT'S TOO MUCH YELLOW? Come on!?

That's another thing, the end of s3 hug between Will and Mike literally ends with Mike looking like he is in physical pain. Like dude looks like he was burned. He looks like a mixture of angry and heartbroken. And so having that, followed up with Mike barely even being able to properly hug Will properly 2 episodes later..? Gee I wonder why?

And then it just spirals from there.

The entire season Mike is by definition emotionally cheating on El, assuming that they are even technically still together atp. There's a reason they had her say From El, and it's so that there was this sense of maybe they were technically broken up now or even just on a break rn, since they wouldn't see each other for who knows how long? Maybe never again? And so that was a writing choice made in large part to allow all of these moments between Mike and Will throughout the season to feel romantic coded and for us to comfortably view them as such. Same with how they did that with Jonathan and Nancy in s2. They create conflict that is near breakup territory, without outright saying I want to break up, and then they throw them with their other love interest and create tension.

When it comes to like how I think s5 could go down with byler, I have a few different thoughts about how that would play out. Obviously I love byler but there's a lot of other stuff going on so this would just be one aspect of the greater overall story. But for the sake of this post I'm going to focus on Byler possibilities.

Them holding off until Vol. 2, literally 2 weeks exactly after the premiere, to have Noah officially release a statement saying We now know Will is 100% gay and in love with Mike, that is them clearly knowing the gravity of revealing stuff too soon to an audience that might not be ready for it. They saw the reaction to s4 and they waited and then they made that choice to discuss it the way they did. That was the point they decided they were willing to tell the truth of the situation, including Noah admitting for the first time, that they've been hinting at Will's feelings since s1, and so he had to always be vague about things to avoid spoiling the Duffers surprise. And while they're doing this, when they talk about Mike's feelings about the situation, it is always that he has absolutely no idea.

There would be no justifiable reason to hold off on admitting Will's feelings for Mike outside of canon, only to admit they've been hinting at it since s1, if there wasn't actually something yet to see be revealed, making this revelation so late in the game, justifiable.

The main thing that we get from Mike being oblivious of Will's feelings, is that if Mike doesn't know, then technically he hasn't rejected Will yet. Because how can he have rejected Will if he has no idea? Answer, he can't!

And so now there is one season left and they are choosing to hold off on Mike's knowledge about Will's feelings? After they just finally admitted after 4 seasons that they've been avoiding telling us about Will's feelings, despite hints from the beginning because they didn't want to ruin the surprise?

What surprise though bro? Slow-burn unrequited love??? There isn't any such thing. Because that wouldn't be satisfying!

It takes us right back to the line Will makes in s3 (mid-series) to Joyce about how he's never gonna fall in love. It's not that he doesn't want to or even hasn't yet at all, it's that he doesn't believe experiencing mutual love with the person he has feelings for is in the cards for him, bc odds are, that person is going to be straight.

But... How is it satisfying to hold off on even admitting Will's feelings for Mike until the second to last season, only to hold off on Mike's POV of the situation until the last season, just to say at the last minute, Well, Will, you were right!...? Like, no.

And so I genuinely think the same thing they did with Will is happening to Mike in a sense, in that by sort of dancing around the situation with answers that don't even allow you to answer the question, by saying Mike is clueless, they can avoid delving into what exactly Mike would think. They can just say Oh of course he will accept Will and leave it at that.

The thing is, if I'm supposed to be rooting for Mike and El, these choices that they've been making, to practically infect all of their scenes with Will in the frame looking like a kicked puppy, it's not giving endgame, it's giving I should be praying for this kid to get a happy ending who is fully convinced that he won't get it.

The main question I have, is are they going to hold off the slow-burn for as long as they can, or are they going to do something unprecedented and make it happen sooner than anyone expects?

I guess for now I think that it's the most likely they will hold off until 5x07 for like the big obvious endgame moment? Slow-burn tends to thrive in it's true form, aka slow-burn until the very end. So it would make sense to have these barriers in place that prevent Mike and Will from truly realizing they have mutual feelings or something of that nature, and then acting on it. That doesn't mean the audience wouldn't be clued in on those feelings earlier in the season, but I think them both accepting those feelings and coming together and choosing to be together is something that won't be like established fully until the end.

THOUGH I will say there is one scenario I could see them manage to have Mike and Will realize those feelings sooner than we think and it's because of the satanic allegations... If Will and Mike were to ever get caught in a precarious situation, by someone in the town already accusing these kids of being the cause, specifically Mike as a member of Hellfire and specifically Will as the kid who has been connected to all of this, it would be sort of visceral seeing how that could play out with them being viewed as like a symbolic indicator of the incoming apocalypse.

Though then again, they still might not get together until like episode 7, bc with the last couple episodes being like 2 hours long, it's possible the homophobic/satanic aspect of it could come into play around then. I think it would be really critical to see other peoples reactions in the story to them getting together, including their family and friends, but also potentially the community bc that would go full circle with what went down in s1 and how like the whole community had an opinion about Will's sexuality even as a kid.

Early s5 is a big indicator of how everything will go down though. I don't think that they'll get separated and be apart the whole season, bc they made a point to convey in s4 that they want to make sure to give the audience a lot of groundwork to root for them and so I think s5 has to be much of the same for it to end in a way that has most of the audience full-on rooting for them and just screaming at their screen for them to kiss already.

However, I do think it's possible we could see them get separated for like 1 episode, maybe 2 but probably not 2 full episodes, I think the reunion would happen sometime at the end of 1 or 2 episodes.

I think Will is likely going to be targeted by Vecna, arguably already was at the end of s4, and then there's birthdaygate to address. Maybe he gets forgotten by everyone as a result of the memory/time trickery that Vecna has going on. And so we could see that play a role in them being separate for a bit while that is resolved, which would likely be early s5, to sort of mirror early s1. But then I think they would reunite by like the 3rd episode and work together most of the season as a team. And we will probably be aware of Mike's feelings in these moments because we would've just presumably gotten a bunch of parallels to s1 and considering Mike and El are broken up, it's going to be difficult to see Mike be so up in arms about Will after all of that romantic subtext, only to be with him and be looking at him like he hung the stars and shit. Even if Will isn't doing the same bc he's like convinced himself at this point Mike doesn't like him back, that would just make it even more clear bc it would be them finally showing us Mike's POV, after hiding it so much in s3-4. It would also sort of wake up those fans who had insisted Mike couldn't feel the same bc there would be no reason to do all of that for nothing.

Another way I could see it going down is by Mike basically somehow making 'a deal with god' (Vecna) that takes him instead. Maybe it's about saving Will who is trying to sacrafice himself already. Or maybe it's a way to save Max and it's sort of a last minute thing that is intended to cause them a lot of grief. Bc we know Vecna loves fucking with them. This would fit into the whole without heart we'd all fall apart, and the whole how am I gonna survive a whole week w/out you guys and Mike getting out in the DND game at the start of s4, along with like the whole theory about how if a paladin breaks an oath they basically have to go on a mini self discovery journey and can essentially be reinstated and forgiven by a cleric (Will). That would fit very very well into the imagery we got of Mike sitting down on Jonthan's bed with the upside down tapestry behind him, followed by Will sitting down beside him + Mike sitting down on the upside down couch at the cabin, followed by Will sitting down beside him. Meaning basically Mike would end up in the upside down and Will would follow behind him.

And I think in that scenario we might be seeing some things from Mike's POV that we have overlooked before, or maybe even things they have deliberately kept from us for the sake of saving it for later. Maybe that unused footage of him crying biking home after they found Will's body, or maybe they re-contextualize the cliff scene in a way that sort of frames Mike as feeling like he deserved to die that day bc after everything that happened with El, maybe he doesn't feel like he deserved to be saved by her, like Vecna just overwhelms him with the guilt that's been piling up for years, which led him to that failed monologue.

Also I think there is a very specific reason they chose to not use the song Time After Time in Max's memory of the Snow Ball in s4, and that's because they're saving it for s5. Every Breath You Take was regarded by most the fandom as a Milkvan song, and if anything it fit with all of them dancing more than it did specifically with Max's memory from that day. So them bringing that back for s4 felt like a combination of the Vecna foreshadowing and also them refusing to use Time After Time quite yet... Time After Time started playing right when Lucas asked her to dance, they easily could have used that song instead and left Every Breath You Take for s5 for a milkvan montage, hell Time After Time even would have fit well with the whole clock theme going on in s4.

But, I genuinely think it's because they're holding off on fully, in canon, re-contextualizing our understanding of that Snow Ball scene when it comes to Mike and Will's perspective of it. And how that song would fit into that revelation is a little to perfect to pass up, again on a show that has made a big deal about clocks and also has connected Will/Mike to the clock in Starcourt with the Yellow and Blue hands ie you say go slow I fall behind-- the second hand unwinds is fucking clock coded bro???

They are 100% saving that clock ass song for the end and that just tells me byler has to be endgame bc that song literally ended right before El entered the gym, it has no association to them, only to either Lucas/Max, Dustin/Nancy, or Mike/Will. That's it.

And so arguably the build up of Mike and Will is the only way to satisfyingly bring that song back full circle.

I guess I'll keep it simple and say that I think one of them are going to go missing/dissapear/be taken (something along those lines) early s5, and the other is going to find them and they're going to be a team basically. I think there could be 1-2 episodes of them alone sort of in the pits of the UD (Hell vibes). Maybe there's an almost kiss in those moments, or maybe even an official one bc them being alone finally is what grants them the courage to do what they haven't been able to do in the real world without the fears of the real world stopping them?

Though I do think that they will reunite with the others after 1-2 episodes alone. And so most of the season will be them teamed up with the og party and also having interactions with other characters along the way as well.

I do think a Murray/Byler confrontation is inevitable. I do think a Will & Robin confrontation is inevitable. I do think it's possible Mike could be exposed to the idea of having a gf then a bf (and vs) by Vickie in the case that Mike finds out bisexuality is real and an option. Bc tbh it's still something people today don't know about. So I don't think Mike Wheeler in 1986 Hawkins, Indiana would, though again maybe an interaction with Vickie could change that. Either that or Robin, Vickie and Steve are going to see Mike call Fast Times overrated and they're all going to share a look and that's when we'll know...

I do think that Will is going to have a hard time believing Mike could feel the same, even when presented with evidence? Not only does he have his insecurities in the way, but he also views El as his sister now (hell she might even actually turn out to be his twin). Even though Mike is his best friend, he's going to want it to be crystal clear that El supports it before Mike ends up being in their family via them being partners at some point. That's just who Will is as a character. He's just going to assume he is wrong for wanting that considering everything that has led up to this point.

And i think El is the kind of character that, no, she wont be like ecstatic about how this all played out and how she didn't need to get her heartbroken, but I don't think that feeling will last forever. I think they might have a little sibling talk about lying, assuming she finds out about the painting and what he said to Mike about her commissioning it. That would be a good parallel to her and Will at Rink-O-Mania when he chastised her for lying to Mike? Essentially an Oh how the turntables moment? Even so, when it's all said and done, she's going to make it clear to Will that she supports him fully.

And I think the same applies to Mike who also is going to want closure that they are okay and still friends and love each other as friends/family.

I think how all of this plays out would be very intricate, yes, but largely keeping in mind that they want us to like this ending and not be bitter about it, and so they're going to have to convince us that we want to fully let go of Mike and El and to root for Mike and Will.

This so called love triangle doesn't have equal stakes to the stancy/jancy one because we're dealing with an audience that has been completely left in the dark, now being bombarded. They have to try really hard to convince the audience to be on board with this, and also avoid homophobia in the process. They're going to have to make it very, very clear there are no more romantic feelings for Mike and El happening. Especially since we're ending the show with them in a sibling dynamic because of their relationships with Will. It would be gross to have this level of well maybe one day he could change his mind I mean he did that once before. Nope. It would be okay to have that sort of left unanswered with the stancy/jancy parallels bc we're not dealing with people being related to each other and swapping back and forth. That's why it needs to be clear in their situation.

And I do think that's why they did the whole I love you 9 times with Mike's monologue. Because it can't go up from there, there is nothing left for them to do after going all out like that, only to reveal Mike meant it deep down platonically? I mean what could they possibly do to backtrack? Have him give her another love confession where he says it 20x and adds no but fr this time?? No. They had to go all out like that to give those viewers what they wanted, the most they could possibly get and then say, sorry it's not happening. It essentially made it impossible to hope for it bc there's nothing left to hope for.

When it comes to byler and like these major moments that are bound to occur between them, I am genuinely most looking forward to them hugging again for the first time since the end of s3. That to me is going to be even more exciting than a kiss honestly (not saying I don't want a kiss but you know what I mean). And it's bc from a hug alone, I think we'll be able to tell that what's going on between them isn't platonic and that will in turn add so many layers to past seasons. I think it's also likely we'll get an almost kiss or two before the inevitable, and that would then make the slow-burn stretching until the end worth it, to me at least? Because just throwing them together never works when the formula has always been to hold off.

And that's also why the show has to end now. We can't have 6,8, 10 seasons of slow-burn, it would be exhausting. 5 seasons is the perfect amount. And having all of that angst and tension and heartache lead to a happy ending is going to make all of those moments in between that fans fought over for being critical of, sort of just dwindle to epic angst that was necessary to appreciate the happy ending.

[batsplat]

btw at le mans 2013 some vale fans had a huge (cringey ofc) banner which went like

yzr-m1: someday my prince will come

vale badly photoshoped as a prince: sorry babe

here’s how we can tie this to rgu and the whole prince&princess theme

also remember how in rgu the movie utena turns into a car and all? well what if valentino had some weird (vaguely erotic) dreams in that vein…….

(x, x) kermit at that poster not at the ask, to be clear!! weird ass sport

anyway, let's talk more about how to apply surrealist anime rgu to motogp! and yes, again, we are kinda stripping rgu from a lot of the stuff it was Actually About, but y'know on the other hand it'd also be flattening that particular artwork if your stance is that the 'only' things the story is relevant to is like. cycles of abuse. structural patriarchy. on-screen depictions of sibling relationships designed to make you extremely uncomfortable. all that stuff. so we are taking it as read for the rest of this post that rgu deals with more serious stuff than competitive sports and work from there

the car stuff!! anthy's prince literally turns into a vehicle to allow her to escape! it ends with both of them like... intertwined on the remaining husk of that vehicle, riding off into freedom. also the car looks cool

this isn't super relevant, I was just thinking about how much fun they made that car. like they made sidepod-wings into horsies. eat your heart out, ducati

now, in the film this is basically a metaphor for growing up, right. anthy is finally breaking out of the school and embracing her revolution by quite literally freeing herself from the prison she had both been entrapped in and had continued to entrap herself in. and isn't that... isn't that basically what valentino is doing when he's leaving honda for yamaha. well, no, obviously it's nothing like that. but say that it was like that, and that essentially this is the process of growing up, coming of age, growing into his own or whatever you want to call it. self-actualisation. a spiritual journey to a different bike manufacturer. valentino does think he's like... imprisoned in honda, it's his whole theme that year, he does a cute callback when he's won the title. brno 2003 is both the prisoner celebration and where he signs for yamaha, like he's not really being subtle about this. and the only way he can fully become himself is standing on his own two feet, thrive or fail, at yamaha. because now he's no longer following the path that's been set out for him. honda was comfortable in many ways, it was a very pretty prison - even if he felt underappreciated, he was still the golden boy at The Most Successful Manufacturer, he'd inherited doohan's team, he was building up a dynasty of his own. he was leaving behind basically... a completely guaranteed title for 2004 and most likely years beyond that for something far less secure

there is a kinda. obvious point here. and it's that according to this framing, valentino is implicitly being cast in the role of the princess. and the bike is the prince, who is being ridden to safety. which fits into the idea that there's like,, a deeply possessive element, of the bike towards the rider, and that's basically the key prince trait beyond lip service commitment to 'nobility'. I think that does kinda... work, not just because the contrast with the expected gender roles makes it more interesting, but also because 'seeing a vehicle as a symbol of liberation' inherently feels like a very valentino thing. the thing about anthy is that it's always a bit unclear how much power she has over what's happening, but when you rewatch the show enough times you do increasingly go 'huh has she been psychologically tormenting all of these characters for over thirty episodes as a diversion from the horrors of existence'. and the film very much then becomes... her version of events, if you will, where her brother the devil (that guy sure keeps cropping up in these asks) has become this defanged parody of himself,, and it really becomes more about her using utena to make the final step. or something!! obviously this is only one interpretation etc etc. but idk I think there's a fun element of this dual role of 'princess' and 'witch' where you've got a character who increasingly exerts autonomy over their own narrative and plays god a little bit and can also force other characters into slightly sadistic mini-arcs where they get turned into cows and who eventually brute forces their own vision on the world. because they do have power, and they are the instigator of the entire plot

so. so. I think one of my favourite things about valentino is... okay, so I don't actually really like when athletes are that good. with both valentino and marc, I have a very begrudging attitude towards just how successful they are, because that level of dominance is extremely 'meh' to me as a sports fan. they're really the exception here as far as I'm concerned, I'm very tenuously okay with their title count but it is also A Bit Much. but the thing about valentino, right, is that he mostly gets around that bit of my brain by also seemingly have a bit of an issue with dominance. the way he progressed through the ranks to the premier class is like,, nowadays, doesn't even stand out as notable because that's Just How Feeder Series Work, but back then it wasn't as guaranteed because they weren't feeder series!! it's not necessarily like clearing a level... you can just stick around to win more than one of these titles, and valentino was seriously considering doing as much but decided to move up anyway. I think there's something fun about how he kinda needs a certain difficulty level to get his brain into it. he's flirting with depression after 2002, writing in his autobiography about how AWFUL it is that winning isn't FUN any more, does his insane little yamaha switch which somehow worked out for him, got really into his f1 flirtations until quite literally when he starts losing again... he needs a bit of drama, he needs enemies, he needs MEANING!! I think inherently he's very suited to any role that casts him as a quasi-malicious storyteller, especially one that's searching for like,, some kind of Growth and progression. and also playthings. which then regularly feeds into a set of callous behaviours towards The Competition when it's seen as necessary. or just satisfying

the way this works when you. y'know. personify the bike into the prince,, is that inherently the prince's pov on this is also quite selfish, right, like it's a saviour complex and thinking you are The One who can claim the princess as your own. the prince can keep the princess safe... who can be used by the princess/witch as a tool to bring about world revolution, and so on. the prince attempts to control the princess, and the princess is devoted to the prince. and also, they can make each other worse!! it's kind of... eventually as a duo they can become so dedicated to this sick game they're playing that basically any act is excusable as long as it helps them win. anyway crucially I do think if you did a surrealism on valentino's brain, some blue haired girl personification of the m1 rocking up to save him from his shackles and allow him to finally attain revolution by turning into a vehicle and literally carrying him to safety... does sound about right, yeah. weird erotic bike fantasies and all

[autisticandroids]

anyway the thing about sam pov on toxic destiel is like. okay. list of things sam sees from the outside:

i think sam HAS to know that cas has a crush on dean. that seems too obvious not to have at least crossed his mind, and once you think of it it has a lot of explanatory power for cas' actions. sam might frame it in his head as cas is/was obsessed with dean but acknowledge that that has gay/crush-y undertones

this gets crazier the longer cas stayed dead after despair. like if he was dead a couple weeks it's a little like he wasn't gone at all but if our timeframe stretches to months or years that's a lot more time for dean's personhood to narrow down to the single point of "get cas back." which will affect both dean and cas' relationship when he is back and sam's perception of it

don't think sam really has an idea of dean having any feelings for cas. dean's feelings for cas are generally a private experience requiring significant interpretation so sam would not see them. he would just think of cas as dean's best friend

rest under a cut because good lord.

thinking about what sam has seen over the course of the show... he has missed a lot of crucial destiel moments both in terms of affection and also perhaps more pertinently in terms of conflict. like, i love to pull on the thread of the fact that he doesn't know dean kicked cas out of the bunker in i'm no angel, but like he also doesn't know the divorce arc happened. almost every emotionally significant moment between dean and cas has been totally private

so like what has sam perceived, really? well okay. chronological order: cas' behavior in the godstiel arc: cas perhaps being a little obsessed with dean, and definitely having a huge capacity to get his feelings hurt by turbulence in their relationship (with attendant capacity to lash out: sam is dean's bunny and cas will boil him if need be). additionally, in the godstiel arc cas proves himself to be like. extremely lovehungry, in general. next, dean being crazy post purgatory, which sam may or may not have picked up on as related to cas. next, cas defending dean and trying to repair the brothers' relationship in first born. this is something that sam would mostly probably have processed as deeply hurtful to him (sam) at the time, but in retrospect might see differently, especially with respect to the next incident he saw, stairway to heaven, in which cas proves very publicly that dean can do anything he wants to cas and cas will forgive him instantly. it seems like in season ten, see: soul survivor, cas might do some similar go-between buffer shit as in first born? it's less explicitly present on screen but i think the evidence of soul survivor plus cas' behavior in the back half of season nine is enough to speculate that season ten was a lot of that. we don't know how much sam saw in the aftermath of the prisoner; we know he mopped up the blood in a deleted scene but whether cas was still lying there when he came in is up to headcanon. i like both interpretations and haven't really picked one. in season eleven sam would have seen dean mother henning depressioncas and then freaking out over casifer. i don't know what he would have made of those but i do think it would strengthen his idea of the significance of their relationship. next thing he sees is stuck in the middle with you which is like. yeah if sam has been sitting on a hypothesis that cas has a crush on dean that's proof. then he would see the widower arc happen and see how losing cas really wrecked dean and getting him back totally fixed him. then i guess... cas' inability to recognize that he was truly on the outs with dean in absence? cas protecting jack by lying for him pre-absence, and cas standing up to dean for jack's sake in jack in the box/moriah. all of which would put sam in a complex emotional position because like. okay. cas trying to fix things in absence is from sam's perspective obviously foolish. cas trying to protect jack in jack in the box/moriah is also obviously foolish to sam because sam believes that resisting dean is an unwinnable battle but then like... cas kind of succeeds a little? and is definitely in the right. which is going to fuck up sam's head. he's not going to be sure what to do with that. and then cas hiding jack's soullessness pre-absence is going to fuck up sam's idea that cas is too dumb to know better than to behave this way. anyway the end of s14 is going to shake up sam's idea of cas and cas' relation to dean and cas' relation to sam a lot. and then dean's freakout post-despair. that's the evidence sam is working with to perceive cas and dean's dynamic

so the empty rescue goes like this: after the several-months timespan of inherit the earth, once the world is fixed, a year and a bit go by where first dean seems to be in a deep, silent depression and goes days without speaking to sam. and then sam realizes that dean has started researching how to get cas back in between bouts of drinking himself to sleep. sam offers help and is aggressively rebuffed. sam moves on with his life a little for a while, then is finally recruited into dean's obsession and brought into the research and rescue attempts. and eventually it works! after a year or so, cas is stumbling out of a gooey portal on the basement wall and collapsing on the floor

and dean is picking him up bridal style and carrying him to the room they prepared, and sam is just standing there watching this happen

for the next several weeks cas is convalescing in bed and dean is like. he's in there. he's in there all the time. sam knocks on the door once and dean blocks him from even seeing cas through the doorway. he's like. he's gotten territorial

cas is still an angel but he's functionally human for now, it could be months or even years before his grace replenishes enough that he doesn't have to eat or sleep you know

anyway. eventually cas is up and about. and sam sees him. occasionally. but he's still basically convalescent and dean is basically standing over his bed like a guard dog

at some point dean walks into the kitchen where sam is eating his cereal, announces "so me and cas are together now," and just walks back out again, leaving sam to just stare after him

break here because i got character limited. anyway.

the thing about this is that sam would parse this as. the thing is that the information dean has just given sam, as sam understands it, is "i have been in the closet for four decades." like dean has now recontextualized his entire life in sam's eyes. because sam now knows that dean has been In The Closet. sam right now is thinking back over shit like nick the siren and the whole benny debacle and being like. well. and like i think sam might assume that dean is gay? the thing about dean is that like. at this point it's been like six years since dean has hooked up with a woman. sam is still hooking up and having girlfriends but the one and only time dean had a long term relationship with a woman it was *checks notes* lisa. canonically, before lisa, dean had never had a relationship last longer than two months, and after lisa it's pretty much crickets. anyway salmondean are NOT going to have the "are you gay or bi?" conversation and in fact they will probably never, ever again have a conversation on the topic of sexuality. and so sam is just gonna sit there and stew in like, his own pity for dean, and his genuine recognition of the tragedy of dean's situation. like sam is also extremely aware of toxic masculinity and the way dean has struggled with it. he has frequently been the target of dean's toxically masculine bullying, but the thing about sam is he prides himself on not buying into his father and brother's toxic ideas (not totally true, but sam believes it), so the bullying mostly annoys him or rolls off him, but as part of his defense mechanisms against it, he already pities dean because dean buys into what sam recognizes as a toxic and bad system, and sam has to believe he (sam) is better than that in order to not be affected by the ways in which he (sam) is not suited for that system, so he has to look down on dean for buying in, in order to function himself. to be clear i think this is like a perfectly reasonable set of justifications one is inclined to generate if one is living with someone who is mean to one. it's like very much the "he can't help it he doesn't know better." which is i think sam's go to, for justifying the bad behavior of those around him. except with cas it's like "he's too Autism to know better" and with dean it's like "he's too Bamboozled By Our Father to know better." so sam is definitely reacting to dean with pity. but also dean's situation is genuinely tragic (deeply toxically masculine man takes forty years to finally stick one toe out of closet) so sam is very much processing that. and he's kind of in the back of his mind processing it For dean because dean is not visibly processing it at all, but sam knows that the processing must be Happening somewhere

sam never ever ever talks to dean about his relationship with cas. like. sam's not dumb enough to bring it up because he would get his ass kicked

he would ask cas about it though

okay so sidetrack. we have to talk about where cas is at. emotionally. because the thing about this situation is it's like simultaneously great and horrible. for cas. and cas being cas is going to plug his ears to the horrible stuff and only think about the good stuff. the thing about cas in this situation is that like. he's grieving jack. like he is knowingly grieving jack. and missing him. like if dean is resurrecting cas post despair, like. jack is functionally dead, at that point. like godjack is deadjack as far as cas is concerned. so cas is absolutely destroyed about that. and he's also terrified that his grief will be found out. and he also has a lot of background anxieties that kind of come from shit he's repressing. like, deep down, way under the hood, he's ashamed of the divided loyalties. he's ashamed that he has chosen dean over jack in the past, he's ashamed that he is currently right now in some way choosing dean over jack. he feels guilty that jack might in some way be out there and in need of his help and not actually functionally dead after all. and he is unable to deal with the idea that he could miss jack even when he has dean, like he can't deal with the idea that his world can be more than one other person to mold himself around. deepest of all he is so, so angry at dean (and sam!) for what they've done to jack, both in the context of letting jack become god and things before. but cas can't really process or acknowledge any of that. and so he just processes it as a vague miasma of anxiety. like it's very kleinian; cas feels this anger deep down at dean but he represses it and the anger is still there but the only way to see it is cas' like. fear of reciprocal anger. like he's so afraid all the time, and the reason he's afraid is that he's aware that he's angry on some level and he's afraid that dean is also aware of his anger and is mad at him in return. obviously none of this is conscious cas is just kind of anxious for no reason as far as he knows. plus it feeds into cas' anxiety re: he has dean now, and he has nothing else. like he has something to lose, but it's also The Only Thing, so he's clinging for dear life, which is a very anxious position to be in. but crucially cas is trying very hard to plug his ears and shout LALALALALALA to all the bad things and only pay attention to how happy it makes him to finally Have dean. anyway that's cas' emotional state during this fic

anyway from the outside, what sam sees is a cas who is like. quieter than usual, more subdued, but who absolutely lights up when dean comes up. like, from cas' end, dean is his one Safe Topic. dean and his current romantic relationship with dean is one of the few things he can really contemplate without hitting landmines. so from the outside cas would absolutely blossom when asked about dean

another government mandated break here.

oh it's also crucial that sam really doesn't see like. he doesn't understand about jack at all. like he can't really acknowledge the grief and guilt cas should be feeling (and doesn't, from the outside, seem to be), because like, if cas is on the hook for how dean treated jack, sam is really on the hook for how dean treated jack. like sam doesn't really see cas as More Jack's Dad than he is, and if sam is as much responsible for jack as cas is, then sam is doing a much worse job. and if godjack is a kind of death for jack, then that is absolutely sam's fault as well. so sam can't really like. use his logic to work out that cas is probably hiding some feelings about jack, because he can't acknowledge a lot of stuff going on

also like in sam's mind cas kind of won because he's been in love with dean for years? like sam has known about that. and sam understands cas as deeply lovehungry (to potentially a dangerous degree. remember when dean and cas had a breakup and cas lashed out by letting all of sam's hell trauma out of the box and into his brain?) and having been obsessed with dean for years and so kind of having like... won a war of attrition for dean's affection. like cas was so doggedly in love with dean that dean finally decided to accept him

anyway so cas is the person sam can ask about their relationship. and he is curious. and cas definitely gets all sunshiney about it and gives sam a very rose tinted account of things. this is partly because of all the issues enumerated earlier and partly because of like, a power dynamic that cas sees and sam doesn't where sam kind of outranks cas? and cas definitely feels like anything he says will be reported to dean. so he's definitely anxious to give sam a positive impression. this is also related to cas repressing shit, namely all the resentment built up over the years due to how horrendously dean has treated him. like cas cannot acknowledge it in any way but deep down, it's there, and that's another anxiety inducing thing, like the anger about jack. so cas has this nebulous fear of punishment that he can't name or really even acknowledge if he isn't the most grateful possible about how dean is soooo good to him and they're sooo in love. and so that's the face he shows to sam

that's all i've got so far?

[puddleorganism]

Oh god I think I just realized why ai generated images work. It’s our own weird ass monkey brains being uses against us.

Like, we all already know the brain fills in the gaps in your perception automatically. Especially with sight. I think when you look at ai generated images your brain automatically does that - it smooths over the imperfections. Especially with photos, because they look real at first glance. The textures, the lighting, it just looks like a real photo so you don’t notice even glaring imperfections. Your brain is literally designed to fill in the gaps. To make it make sense.

Like, for instance, me and my friends were roasting some ai generated image scams (which you should do because it’s honestly good practice for learning how to see those imperfections), and I didn’t even notice the scale was wildly off until a friend pointed it out - for 15 minutes. I was looking at the image for 15 minutes and didn’t notice the focus of the image was completely out of scale with the background.

Anyway. If you want to learn to recognize the hallmarks of ai images (specifically the ones mimicking photos, ai generated art is different) I recommend looking real hard at some. Here are some thing I’ve noticed to be common, though*:

The decor of rooms tend to all be the same sort of style. I don’t know how to describe interior decorating but it’s all like. Mostly white, boxy furniture, lots of houseplants. Kind of like… rustic modern I think?? This could probably change if you put in specific prompts for the background though

Speaking of houseplants, those seem to be hard to do. The leaves tend to just kinda form a blob, and can be odd shapes. I’ve also seen them kind of bleed into the image? Like there was just a fuzzy smudge of green by the plant.

Repeating patterns seem to be tricky for ai. Things like tiles, keyboards, feathers, and sometimes bricks. They look mostly fine at a glance but if you zoom in they’re so janky

Similarly, flooring can be inconsistent. Like, the lines of floorboards can go behind something, and be a different pattern on the other side.

Framed pictures look indistinct or are just a solid block of color

Lighting! Sometimes it makes sense, but sometimes shadows just go a random direction regardless of light sources (eg. shadows are cast to the right, but there is a bright window behind the thing casting the shadow, so they should be moving forward). Also, I don’t think ai can do multiple light sources? Like, in real life you know that thing that shadows do where they duplicate if there’s multiple lights in a room? I’ve yet to see that.

Animals, especially mammals (ESPECIALLY cats) seem to be easy to make a good approximation of, but often aren’t anatomically accurate. Unfortunately, you need to know what they look like beforehand, and with so many ai images out there now looking it up is probably going to be hard. For example, birds species have pretty defined shapes for their wings and tail feathers, and if you know what those are it’s glaringly obvious when ai gets them wrong. I recommend looking at zoos’ social media, Wikipedia, other scientific articles, and older books (photo books, encyclopedias) if you want good references now.

It seems to usually do extremely smooth, but somewhat contrasted lighting. Which means bright light source, and often darker, defined shadows. (But not too dark? For some reason it has more contrast than usual, but not a whole lot)

Scale and perspective are often inconsistent. For instance with scale, a human might be too small compared to the background. With perspective it can be floorboards at a different angle to the wall, or like a cabinet could be flat against a wall when it looks like you should be able to see the top.

*note: these are my personal observations/patterns I’ve noticed, they’re not like a set rule book on what ai can and cannot do. They’re also liable to change, as ai is advancing very quickly.

[saturniiids]

A brief analysis of aosjk #6 spoilers ahead!!

The final issue of aosjk was far from perfect in my opinion but it wasn’t as bad as everyone’s making it out to be.

There’s definitely some pacing issues but that always comes with minis especially when they’re 6 issues long. The action feels a bit rushed and I do think that a little more time should have been spent on Jon’s fights with the separate justice league members. Or at least on his fight with Diana. Or alternatively we should have seen Jon release Bruce and Harley, maybe even freeing them in front of Clark because it’s that sense of action I believe the issue is missing.

Another option is to have a fight between Jon and Clark where Clark is always on the attack and Jon has to counter. I think that would have worked well to metaphorically emphasise their differences.

However, where people complain about the hug I’m starting to understand it a lot more. I believe looking at it from a narrative pov it’s an interesting contrast to the hug we see in soke. I also think it does make sense for Jon to do and that people are miss reading the intention behind it. The hug isn’t Jon showing sympathy or forgiveness or love, it’s a tactical move. Everything he does in that scene is a tactical move because giving Clark what he wants, letting Clark see his wife again (in some sense) and letting him hold his child, is what gets him to step back even for a few seconds. It’s so obvious that the hug is a distraction technique.

Jon doesn’t want to give Clark the hug and he doesn’t forgive him because that’s not his place. What he does is target Clark emotionally because he does not believe he would win a fight against him (he’s seen this Clark rip apart ultraman with his bare hands… also he’s probably aware of the collateral a fight between them would cause).

The thing is Jon is in a very unique position of being Clark in injustice’s motivation. So what he does is give Clark the thing he’s longed for and then tears it away from him. He shows Clark his and Lois’ disapproval of what Clark’s done for them, targeting his biggest weakness. What would have worked best is if he was then able to restrain Clark with kryptonite and leave him for the people of that world to deal with.

Another thing I’d like to briefly address is Jon’s seemingly lack of emotion through the issue. I think this is very reflective of his emotional state and how drained he is. I don’t think we have an exact time frame for these events but they do occur in quick succession and we’ve barely seen Jon rest since Ultraman is killed so he is likely extremely tired physically and especially emotionally. Which I think is interesting and can be seen as an extension of his attitude we’ve seen in SoKE #5 where he prioritises being superman and saving people over his own well being.

Also I’m annoyed we never got a reappearance of Val-Zod and Red Tornado and hope at some point that plot thread is resolved because I’m not a fan of how they just got forgotten.

I do hope we get another solo for Jon in the future but we will have to see.

[cosmicjoke]

Not to keep going on about this, but one thing I think is pretty obvious in AoT is that no side is framed as the good or bad side. The entire point of the story is to show the tragedy of war and persecution, and where it leads. It isn't a question of who's good or bad, right or wrong, it's an examination of the tragedy of anyone ever having to be put in a position of fighting back in the first place. I even made a post specifically about this not long ago, here:https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/743927719421673472/one-tactic-that-some-eren-fan-once-tried-to-argue?source=share .

So despite what some are trying to say about mine and others statements regarding Levi's goodness as being a justification of Levi's actions because he's on the side of Paradis, what we're actually doing is justifying his actions because, in the context of any, given scene in which he commits acts of violence, they ARE justifiable. His life or the lives of others are being threatened, therefore, it's justifiable for him to act in defense of himself and others. It's got nothing to do with who's ideologically good or bad, who's right or wrong, or who's on what side. It's a matter of practicality. If someone is threatening you or others, you're justified in using lethal force to stop them. That's why police officers and regular citizens are allowed to shoot people who pose a threat to them and others and they won't be prosecuted under the law for doing so. Whether Levi was from Paradis or Marley, if all things were the same in terms of circumstance when he's shown killing, we would continue to call his actions justifiable because it's got to do with his specific situation, not with who's side he's on.

It's about individual assessment of a person's actions and the situation that person finds themselves in. Levi's killing has nothing to do with ideology or philosophical belief. It has to do with the practical question of survival. If I don't kill this person, they're going to kill me or someone else. It's a tragedy, but it's also a reality. That's why I've said again and again that killing is always a tragedy, but it's not always wrong. Of course it's tragic that anyone has to die, but sometimes they DO have to die in order for others to live. That's an inescapable reality that has nothing to do with "sides" of a conflict or ideological belief.

Some people want to extrapolate that statement out to what eventually happens in the story with Eren and the Rumbling, but Eren's admission that he enacted the Rumbling to realize his own, selfish idea of freedom, and not to save anyone, completely undercuts that argument. Eren didn't try to genocide the whole world because he thought it was necessary to save the lives of anyone, or for any philosophical belief in the greater good, he did it because he wanted to.

The Rumbling, therefore, didn't happen because Eren was taught the philosophy of kill or be killed. It happened because Marley persecuted the Eldian's to such an extreme extent, that it created a faction of extremist nationalists, which eventually lead to a complete madman like Eren coming into a power he never should have had. The story doesn't condemn killing in and of itself, or the concept of self-defense. It doesn't try to persuade us of the rightness or wrongness of those things on the basis of moral grounds. I think AoT itself demonstrates beautifully overall, and particularly with Levi during the Uprising arc, with Jean and Mikasa's judgmental condemnation of his actions being thrown back in their faces when soon after they're placed in the same position of having to kill in order to survive and protect one another, that we shouldn't judge anyone without first understanding the context and circumstances behind their actions. To not judge or condemn anyone until you have a better understanding of the circumstances surrounding their behavior. AoT shows us over and over again how important context is, and again, it trusts the reader to use that context to make fair assessments about who's right and who's wrong in any, given scenario.

You can't just generalize everyone's actions as right or wrong based on the action itself. The circumstances surrounding it, and the person's attitude and intent in taking any, given action, are necessary to acknowledge and examine in making an accurate assessment in that regard.

So rather than AoT condemning the use of violence or violence in itself, what it actually condemns is, ironically enough, generalized and assumptive perceptions of who and what is good or bad, right or wrong, because it's those things which lead to persecution, oppression, atrocities and war, which in turn leads to untold destruction. It's an anti-war story, and an anti-prejudice story. It doesn't try to moralize to anyone about the evil's of killing or violence. It in fact acknowledges those things as a part of the natural order, as a part of the human condition. Even in showing the horrific outcome of persecution, it never frames any, individual characters actions or person as definitively right or wrong. It lets the reader come to their own conclusions on that front. It trusts the reader/viewer to be able to tell the difference between unjustified murder vs justifiable self-defense, all while acknowledging the tragedy inherent to the need for self-defense at all.

Eren didn't enact the Rumbling because he was taught it was justifiable to kill in self-defense or defense of others, which is what I think some people are trying to imply. That Eren being taught that is what lead to him wiping out 80% of the planet's population, and so that's supposed to be a condemnation of the act of killing in self-defense. But it's not. If the story wanted to send that message, it never would have made such a strong point of emphasizing the real reason Eren did what he did, which, like I said before, wasn't self-defense or defense of others, but because he wanted to see the world as it was in Armin's books. Eren knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew it wasn't justified. It had nothing to do with fighting back, something he admits both to himself and others. And so it wasn't Eren learning from Levi's example, or anyone else' example, that lead him down that road. It was just his own nature, and it was Marley's persecution and oppression and warmongering that created a scenario in which someone with Eren's nature obtained the power to do what he already always wanted to from the start .

Basically, the story is telling us that if you don't want to be killed, you shouldn't give anyone a reason to kill you. Don't persecute people, don't oppress people, don't threaten people, don't seek out revenge on people for something someone else did, don't punish people for something they didn't do, don't engage in generational guilt or blame, don't make assumptions about people, don't condemn anyone until you understand the context of their actions, etc, etc... If the story condemns anything, it's that, because it's those sorts of choices which lead to the circumstances that end in war and mass violence. The story shows us what happens when you put someone in a corner and leave them no choice but to fight back. Rather than being critical of violence alone, what it's actually critical of is creating the circumstances in which violence becomes a necessity at all.